Story of the Month

Time for a bit of a Moan!

Posted on 19th April 2016

My story is really about having a bit of a moan.  As a carer our views and opinions are important, but I never feel as though anyone listens to my view-point, particularly the professionals involved in my son’s care…


fridgeWhenever I go along to the meetings that my son attends with his psychiatrist, I sit there like a lemon and I have my say at the end, but it is often skimmed over and no real answers are given to my concerns.


It’s as if I’m sitting in the room but I might as well not be there for all the difference it makes.  Is anyone else out there nodding in agreement at this point? Cos I could sure do with some company….! Quite often my son will say he is fine when the opposite is the case and I feel as his full-time carer my input IS IMPORTANT – in fact, CRUCIAL, to his on-going care and well being.   The psychiatrist is definitely not getting the full picture when he asks my son “HOW ARE YOU” … as he often replies, “FINE … ALL OKAY.”  I’m normally nervously biting my lip or chewing my nails at this point, waiting patiently for my turn, so I can say, “NO … EVERYTHING IS VERY FAR FROM OKAY.”


I understand that they are HIS appointments and I’m only present because HE wants me to be, but as his full-time carer I know him so well and what he is going through at any given time and feel as though I should have more of a voice. the psychiatrist may only see him four times a year but I see him 24 hours a day 7 days a week …. there’s quite a difference.   I would love to hear from other carers on their experiences with professionals/psychiatrist(s), and in particular any tips to help me deal with my situation.  Perhaps as a carer yourself you felt the same once and overcame your difficulties.

I did read the story on here a couple of months ago about a carer who approached PALS (the Patient Advice and Liaison Service) because she was unhappy and I am wondering whether to do that.  It might help … or perhaps biting the bullet and phoning the secretary of the psychiatrist and explaining how I am feeling about the situation.  It is extremely frustrating and I might not be a professional but I have had many years of experience and have such a lot to offer to these meetings if only SOMEONE would listen.


I hope other carers out there will share their experiences and offer some useful advice, I would be eternally grateful.

Kind regards,



Helpful tip for Beth from “a trouble shared is a trouble halved: having the courage to speak out is the first step and a huge leap in the right direction


Tell YOUR Carer Story…. help other Carers by sharing YOUR experiences.


Your personal experience as a Carer is unique to you, but also offers a valuable tool to help other Carers who may be in a similar role to you. Perhaps you have found a way to overcome solitude or found a hobby or interest that helped you to break away from your Caring role, or maybe you simply want to share the rewards you get from being a Carer to a loved one or family member.

Either way, YOUR story is important to us here at Carers Connect

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